When I was a child I dreamed of many things that I wanted to grow up and become… a figure skater like Dorothy Hamill because she glided so effortlessly across the ice rink, and a veterinarian because I loved so many different kinds of animals and always wanted to help the abandoned ones, and even a professional singer because all my family sang and played an instrument or two. As I grew and became a teenager some of those dreams remained, like wanting to become a veterinarian, but other dreams were sparked…like becoming a teacher because I loved learning, or a nurse because I loved taking care of the elderly and helping the sick or even an inspiring author because I always enjoyed creative writing. However, I’m not sure if I ever just dreamed of becoming a mother, but when I did become a mother eleven days shy of my 21st birthday, it was the best thing I would ever become.
Yes, becoming a mother for the first time over 34 years ago was a blessing from above. Then becoming a mother to one who went on to heaven before me and to another child that filled my aching arms and heart afterwards was really a miracle for me and my family. So becoming a mother has fulfilled my life in many ways that I never thought was possible. In fact, becoming a good mother has been a lifelong lesson that I am still learning as I grow gracefully and as I continue to help my children grow as adults themselves.
From adolescence to adulthood, many of my dreams didn’t turn out quite like I had planned. Ironically though, I have done slight versions of several of them. From singing on church stages all over, to teaching at a private school, to rescuing and doctoring hundreds of abandoned animals, to working in hospice care and helping family members and friends as they finished this journey, to even writing for our local papers, I have had a very full life. Yet I don’t think my life would have ever been complete if I hadn’t been a mother and had a good mother to mentor me into becoming a good mother to my children as well. For that alone I will always be grateful.
I know there are people who never had a good mother or maybe they lost their mother and were raised by their father, aunt, sibling or grandmother. But hopefully even if you missed out, I pray that you learn in your lifetime to become a good mother because it’s never too late. I believe that we are always a work in progress.
I believe a good mother is an individual that has her own dreams and desires but somehow does them differently so she can be there for her children from infancy to adolescence and beyond. A good mother is always in the middle of her children’s lives, molding and disciplining them to become their best at whatever they want to be.
A good mother is also a good listener at every stage of her child’s life. Sometimes she’s patient, sometimes she’s not. Sometimes she’s opinionated, other times she’s quiet and lets her silence speak. I believe a good mother loves unconditionally, lets her children learn from their own mistakes but challenges her children to always leave this life better than how they found it. A good mother gives of her time which is the most valuable thing she owns. However she also takes time for self-care which teaches her children we all have self-worth.
A good mother earns the respect of her family and respects her children’s opinions even if they are different from hers. She also remembers to encourage her children and not just correct them and that laughter should be part of a child’s daily routine. A good mother knows when to say I’m sorry or I was wrong because a good mother also knows she’s an imperfect mom and tries to figure out ways of coping with her own shortcomings. This teaches her children we are all still a work in progress no matter how old we get and no matter how wise we think we are.
But most of all, I believe a good mother is a praying mother who never apologizes for her stand in the faith and teaches her children to also have high standards and morals above all else. I believe the call to be a good mother is one of the greatest gifts and challenges a woman will ever have in her lifetime. This is why a good mother is dependent upon a Sovereign God. For even the Word says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her worth is far above rubies…Her children rise up and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praises her.” All these virtues: Dignity, patience, generosity, courage, wisdom and devotion represent this Godly woman. These traits are not what she looks like, but rather who she is. She is a Godly woman and she is becoming a good mother because she follows the Lord, leads by example and leaves footprints behind for her children to follow.
