Ok I’m going to say this loud and proud – I’m a hover mom and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m also a hover aunt because my brothers’ children and grandchildren are also my bloodline. So I am very protective over them all and why shouldn’t I be? It’s called PARENTING!
Yes, I am well aware of the term “helicopter parenting” that is assumed to be overprotective so much that they oversee every aspect of their child’s life. I understand this can make a child dependent on their parents and even though I want to have independent children I also want what’s best for my children and I do believe a mother knows best if she follows God’s lead.
This is why I believe what the scriptures say about parenting.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22: 6.
“Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right…so it may be well with you and you may enjoy a long life.” – Ephesians 6:1 “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7 As a parent we are charged with training our children no matter what! So train them well! We don’t let them do whatever they want to do, but we don’t oppress them either. We must lead them the way God wants them to be led. He literally commands us to teach them from the time we get up until the time we lie down, in our homes and everywhere we walk.
However, herein lies the problem today. We now have free-range parenting that wants to let a child have more freedom to choose whatever they want, even their gender for goodness sake.
This last generation is struggling because they are technically raising themselves and they are being told that “hovering parents” are hurtful parents. Our children are growing up in a society that tells us we are hurting our children by enforcing discipline and rules, which is the opposite of what the Word of God says.
Think about it – we were raised in a time where the Ten Commandments were still proudly displayed on the walls of our homes, schools, workplaces and government buildings. Now most children don’t even know what the Ten Commandments are and they definitely aren’t being taught them in most public school or work settings. After all, God forbid true Christians and believers offend anyone or have any set standards to live by.
Instead our children are being led astray by every wind and doctrine of destruction. They are being told that they can write their own truth when there is only one truth. In John 14:6 “Jesus saith unto him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father except through me.’” So why are we allowing our children to accept the world’s view of what’s right when it is clearly wrong?
According to psychology today there are four types of parenting: permissive, authoritative, neglectful and authoritarian. The permissive parent rarely enforces rules. The neglectful parent provides little nurturing or guidance. The authoritarian sets strict rules and punishment and has one-way communication, while the authoritative sets clear rules and expectations and solves problems along with the child with open communication.
I hope that I am more like the authoritative parent but I do believe we need to set strict rules and teach our children that there is punishment for poor choices. I also believe we need to teach our children that there are rewards for right behavior. Job 34 states that the “Lord repays everyone for what they have done; he brings on them what their conduct deserves.”
I believe parenting is one of God’s greatest callings and that calling doesn’t stop until we leave this world behind. To me my most important goal in life is to guide my children to a saving faith in Jesus Christ and set them on a path to maturity and measuring up to His standards which are also mine. This doesn’t mean that we are perfect parents or children. This just means that we are striving daily to be more like Jesus and love each other unconditionally. The world doesn’t just need love, they need a Savior! Everyone needs to be shown His unconditional love, Agape love. I understand by no means can I personally save my children. Only Jesus can. But I sure can do my part to pray and guide them to the truth with every ounce of my being.
I read a friend’s post this past Sunday that pretty much sums everything up in our lives. If our children miss heaven, none of this other stuff will even matter. None of it. Not the homes we have lived in, nor the nice cars we have driven. Not the jobs we have worked so hard for nor the money we have earned from doing all those jobs. We have one job – making sure our children make heaven. Period.
This is why I am unapologetic for being a “hover mom” because I will cover my children until the day I die and I will pray in the power of His Holy Spirit that they follow my footsteps through heaven’s door as I do my best to follow Him.