There is no escaping what is to come or the memories of holidays past. As I climbed in bed late Thanksgiving Eve after cooking pumpkin pies, cookies and prepping the rest of our holiday dinner to come, and then was back up after only a few hours of sleep to start cooking everything, I couldn’t help but think of times past.

Like John Williams’ song “Somewhere in My Memory” I too remember “Candles in the window… shadows painting the ceiling … gazing at the fire glow…feeling that gingerbread feeling … precious moments, special people… happy faces, I can see…somewhere in my memory…Christmas joys all around me…living in my memory…all of the music, all of the magic… all of the family, home here with me.”

I missed being able to call my Grandma Eloise to ask her how to make certain dishes or if she was making her famous fluffy rolls to take to Uncle Sam’s for Thanksgiving or my brother’s for Christmas. Prior to going to Mustang to my great uncle’s home, we had gone to my great aunt’s ranch in Tecumseh for years. Over 60 or more of us would gather at my Aunt Carol’s to shoot skeet, ride horses, go on a hayride to look for arrowheads and of course, eat a holiday meal fit for a king. We had gathered for years and years and had never really stopped to think that it would ever end, but unfortunately it did. My sweet aunt passed away with cancer and our extended family never had another Thanksgiving at the ranch.

That’s when my great uncle stepped up and started a new tradition of meeting at his home in Mustang for several years until a couple years ago when he also passed away. He was the last of my grandmother’s siblings and sadly that would be the last of our family big family gatherings around the table.

As I kept cooking my family’s holiday meal, I reminisced over our past holidays together, including Christmases past. First, when we were just children waiting for my Grandpa Ray and Grandma Eloise to hurry up and get to our house so we could open up our presents. Then after we were all grown, we met at my brother’s home for many years and celebrated with all our family and often a few friends.

I remember my dad’s last family dinner and us singing around the piano. I remember him praying a blessing over each one of us and how much he spoiled his favorite little granddaughter, my daughter who thought her Papa hung the moon.

As a family we made so many trips to Branson each year, always going to Silver Dollar City. We would get season passes each year so we could enjoy every season, but especially the holidays. We liked all the rides but really loved the big musical tree at Christmas time. We would watch it for over an hour before leaving the park. We continued the tradition from when we were children to when we became the parents taking our own children. Then finally when my daddy was getting sicker with diabetes we went for the last time to see that ol’ tree and listen to it serenade us one last time.

I also remember our last big family Christmas when we all knew it would be my grandmother’s last. She was dying with cancer so as many could come, gathered to a packed house out at my brother’s two-story home and we sang and again ate a huge family meal, fit for a king.

However, it saddens me that times have changed, divorces have happened, death has occurred, loved ones have moved away, and there are no more big family get-togethers with my extended family. No more singing around the piano or calling to see what each person will bring to the feast. Those sweet times have come and gone, and all we have now are the memories of holidays past.

So I smile as I shed a tear, remembering all the times I was so blessed to have all my extended family around the table. Then I say a prayer and thank God that I still have my immediate family all sitting around the table. I am grateful for the memories of holidays past and I am grateful for what I still have and for what will even transpire in the years to come if the Lord tarries. I realize now how precious time is and having our family is and that we should never take for granted all our blessings of family sitting around the holiday tables. “Yes, somewhere in my memory, I still remember… all of the music, all of the magic… all of the family, home here with me.”